Margaret Thatcher or... Stalin?

The other day, Mando was frustrated and blurted out, “Well, I can be an asshole too.” I paused, amused, and replied, “Wait... did you just say I’m an asshole?” He burst out laughing—and I took that as confirmation.

In that moment, I wondered: Am I channeling Margaret Thatcher? Fierce, focused, no-nonsense. But then a less-flattering thought hit me—what if I’m more Stalin than Thatcher? Definitely not what I was going for.

Here’s the thing—I’m an INFJ, which probably explains a lot. The “I” makes me naturally reserved, so socializing isn’t exactly my strong suit. Add in the “J,” and you get someone who thrives on structure and decisiveness—no fluff, no wasted time. When it comes to work, I get focus on goals, which means I can come off as distant or intense. It’s not that I don’t care—I care a lot. I just don’t always have the patience for small talk along the way.

To make things easier, I created a document called “How to Work With Me.” It was my attempt at bridging the gap—an invitation to understand me better. At the end, I added a section asking the team to write their own versions, so I’d know how to work with them, too. But so far? Nothing. Not one email. Either they’re terrified or hoping I forget about it.

Thank goodness for Mando and Indra. They balance things out by playing good cop to my bad cop. If I’m the hammer, they’re the velvet gloves—softening the impact when I come in too hot. It’s a team dynamic that works, even if I sometimes wonder if they’re managing me just as much as I’m managing them.

I’ve always admired Indra Nooyi and Margaret Thatcher—two leaders who weren’t afraid to lead with clarity and strength. INFJ quirks aside, that’s the kind of leader I want to be—direct, thoughtful, and unwavering. In early-stage startups, you need decisiveness. Not everyone has to love your decisions, but they have to know you’re moving the team in the right direction.

That said, I do love hearing people out when the moment calls for it. Conversations with the team build trust and spark new ideas. One team member messaged me before Tech in Asia, saying, “You’re doing so well as a woman and leader.” That really stuck with me—it reminded me that even when I seem intense, they see the care behind it.

Leadership is about balancing results and relationships. Thatcher knew that getting things done doesn’t always make you popular, and that’s the hard truth I’ve embraced too. If Thatcher could lead a country through turbulent times, I can manage product launches and overdue invoices—hopefully without turning into Stalin.

So yeah, maybe I am a bit of Thatcher, with an INFJ twist. But if I can build something meaningful, challenge my team without breaking them, and learn to laugh at myself along the way—I’ll call that a win.