I Used to Buy Bags, Now I Only Have Eye Bags

The other day, I caught up with Edwin, a good friend who used to be my manager at Insider. We first crossed paths years ago—back when I was at Bhinneka, and he had just started at Insider as an Account Manager. Fast forward 7-8 years, and we still stay in touch. So naturally, when he asked how life was going, I jokingly replied, “I used to buy bags, now I only have eye bags.” We laughed, but after the conversation ended, I realized just how true that statement really was.

There was a time when my biggest dilemma was whether to go with a classic Chanel or a trendy tote. I could easily spend an entire afternoon browsing for handbags, justifying yet another addition to my collection. Now? The only bags I seem to be collecting are under my eyes—no designer label, no choice in the matter, and certainly nothing I picked out willingly.

I can’t help but wonder—did Anna Wintour ever have eye bags while running Vogue, or did her fictional twin, Miranda Priestly, from The Devil Wears Prada, hide them just as well as her withering stares? Nobody warned me that the true price of late-night strategy sessions, investor calls, and constant hustling would be this growing collection of dark circles under my eyes. But hey, I guess the hustle comes with its own kind of “luxury.”

On the bright side, my dark circles match my lucky color—black—according to Feng Shui. Apparently, I have too much fire in my birth chart, so I’m supposed to wear more black to balance it out. So maybe my eye bags are just my body’s way of keeping me harmonious. Who knew?

I’m not sure when it all shifted. I used to treat myself along the way, but somewhere between building Lunash and juggling an endless stream of meetings, the bags under my eyes became more prominent than anything hanging on my arm. I remember one morning, rushing out the door for a meeting, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror—no handbag, just eye bags that even the best concealer couldn’t hide.

These aren’t just signs of exhaustion; they’re battle scars. Every investor pitch, every extra hour spent working, every sleepless night is etched right under my eyes. I used to worry about matching a handbag to my outfit; now, I’m just grateful for a strong coffee and a decent attempt at looking alive on Zoom calls.

Self-care? Let’s be honest, for founders, it’s more survival than luxury. It’s sneaking in 20 minutes of sleep between meetings or managing to drink a cup of coffee before it goes cold. I still dream of buying that perfect handbag one day, but honestly, right now, I’d trade it for eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

It’s funny how life shifts when you’re building something from the ground up. The things that once felt like necessities—handbags, accessories, shopping sprees—suddenly become distant memories, replaced by the daily grind of creating, growing, and surviving as a founder. But if the trade-off for giving my all to Lunash is a few extra bags under my eyes, I’ll take it. Because, in the end, it’s not about what I’m carrying on my arm—it’s about what I’m building with my hands.