Finding My Tribe and Keeping the Boat Afloat: What I’ve Learned (So Far)

Recently, I had the chance to attend an intimate lunch hosted by Integra Partners, bringing together a group of female founders. It was a refreshing opportunity to connect with other women who understand the unique challenges we face in an industry where genuine support for female founders often feels scarce. As we sat around the table, sharing experiences, a few women touched on the pressures placed on them—balancing the expectations of raising a family while also building a business. In places like Jawa, the idea of a woman leading her own company can still feel almost out of place, as if you’re attempting to pull off a magic trick no one expected. I understood where they were coming from, but I saw things a bit differently. I’m the first daughter of the first daughter, and the first grandchild. My mother comes from Sulawesi and Kalimantan, and in our family, resilience runs deep. The women I grew up around weren’t just nurturing—they were warriors. The women in South Sulawesi and Kalimantan worked the land, wove sarongs, and made sure their families were provided for. These are our "ancestral wisdom" that has been passed down from generation to generation. My mother and my grandmother taught me that strength and femininity can—and should—go hand in hand. It’s that strength that carried me through when I entered the entrepreneurial world, where “you can’t do that” was more of a challenge than an actual obstacle.

But even with that resilience, my biggest fear has always been whether I can keep the boat afloat. Each night, I wonder if I’ll be able to make it work—if I can bring in enough revenue to cover salaries while juggling everything else that needs to be done. That fear? It’s always there, lurking in the back of my mind. If only I could invoice it for rent, I’d have a bit more peace of mind.

My cultural background, along with the nine years I spent living in Canada, shaped me into a no-nonsense leader. Having lived in North America as a triple minority—female, a woman of color, and Muslim—I’ve learned not to shy away from tough conversations. Difficult discussions and confrontations don’t scare me anymore. I’ve had to learn to stand my ground, and it’s served me well in the business world. Being a founder requires you to stand tall, even when everything feels like it’s about to fall apart. Bonus points if you can do it while keeping your coffee intact.

During that lunch, Jen and Cynthia from Integra Partners said something that stuck with me: female founders don’t always leverage their networks enough. Often, we feel like we have to prove we can do it all on our own. But the truth is, we don’t. Our networks are a massive asset, and we need to lean on them more. If you’re feeling isolated, my advice is simple: find your tribe and reach out. There are people who are on the same journey, who understand what it’s like, and they’ll gladly support you. Don’t discount yourself—and don’t try to go it alone. Entrepreneurship doesn’t come with a manual, but thankfully, it comes with a community.

In the end, we’re not just numbers or quotas to be filled. Female founders aren’t here to meet a diversity metric. We’re here to build, lead, and succeed. And if I’m being honest, I’d rather just be called a founder—sans the “female” label. The only difference? Well, women need tampons. That’s about it.

This journey is long and sometimes lonely, but with the right tribe by your side, you can find the strength to keep going. I’ve learned that combining resilience with the support of a strong community can turn even the hardest moments into opportunities. And that’s something no founder—female or otherwise—should have to face alone.

(Photo credit: Unsplash)